I'm going to do this. I have to, I mind as well actually be lifeless, since my life is meaningless and lifeless anyways. Just jump, fucking do it! Take your last breath, and jump. Do not be a whimp!
I took a breath, bent my knees, sprung into the air, and into Gerards pool.
My first time ever in a pool, well, since I was 4.
I nearly drowned 24 years ago, I haven't gone in a pool, or any water for that matter, since.
  I heard cheering as my head came up from the water, and I gasped for air.
That's when I realised, I wasn't gasping for my life, but just for another breath.
I didn't die. I'm going to live to see another gutwrenchingly and painfully lonely day! YAY!
  "Good job, Frankie. Im proud of you, we all are." Gerards soft words spoke in a cheery, but serious tone.
  "Yeah, man, it is about time you joined us for some swim-tastic fun." Mikey laughed. That's when Bob pushed his head underwater, jokingly trying to drown him. I must admit, I did get scared for Mikeys life.
  We spent the next 2 hours swimming, and joking around. I could get used to this.
But, the entire time, my eyes were locked to Gerard, I mean, when aren't they anyways? Still, he looked extra beautiful when his hair was all wet and sticking to his face.
  "Frank, you have that look on your face again." Ray whispered to me. In that whole 'cut-it-out-before-Gergard-notices-and-you-make-a-fool-out-of-yourself' way. "Man, I can't help it, he looks..fucking hot right now." I said, blushing.
  Suddenly, I scoped for Gerards face, I stood in place, and spun around. My eyes trying their very best to detect where he went. But I couldnt see him.
  Just seconds into my heart beating because I felt nervous, maybe Gerard had drowned? Or maybe he bashed his head off the ground while doing a handstand in the water? I was then tugged, then tugged again, but the third time around, I was completely pulled under the water. I freak out, until I see Gerards smiling face right in mine.
  I smiled back at him, and we raced each other to the other end of the pool.
The guys, apart from Gerard and myself, got tired and went inside to eat dinner and get dry. (Well, to be honest, I was tired as well, but wanted to spend more alone time having fun with Gerard, we dont get to do this often)
  We splashed one another, and played marco polo, and many other things.
It wasnt until 8 in the evening, (yes, we were swimming that long. I am so pruned its terrible, we look like old men) that things started to go..let's just say..my way.
  "Frankie.." He swam really close to me, until I back up far enough that  I hit the edge of the pool. He was really close now, and all I could hear was his breath.
   Frank, you do need to breathe at some point. I reminded myself, and then took a breath.
  Gerard stared at me, an inch away from my face. I felt a rush of heat fall over me.
I was praying that if anything happens, Gerard doesnt look or feel my chest, because I swear my heartbeat is quite visible.
  He tilted his head to the right, just a tad bit. And moved in closer, I suppose..testing me?
  But, I just, couldn't take it anymore.
"God dammit, Gerard just kiss me."
Gerard put both hands on either side of my face, and then his lips to mine.
  Oh the sensation. I got an instant head rush, heart stopped, restarted..but went a good 20 times quicker in pace, my breathing was cut short, and I totally lost all thoughts. Out of the 10 years we have known each other, the years of on-stage role playing, and teasing, we've never actually..experienced something so real with each other, like this.
  My fingers moved through his hair, and my other fingers helped push his body against mine.
  This continued for quite some time, and it seemed..at the same time as forever, not long enough.
  That was the first night I spent in Gerards arms, smiling my way to sleep.